View Full Version : 5 Stages of Marriage Sex

08-11-2003, 08:58 AM
There are 5 stages of sex in a marriage:

1) The first is Honeymoon Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you paid a small fortune to go to an exotic vacation spot; however, you don't even get to see the place since you both keep doing it all day and night in the hotel room.

2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, living room, bathroom, even in the kitchen.

3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!"

5) There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife and her lawyer screw you in front of the judge and everyone in the courtroom.