my sin

[abc]

hi..hm...hôn biết tại sao me post lên nua....mấy anh chị cho me lời khuyên voi....... i've been going out with my bf only couple weeks (like 3 weeks)...i dunno........to tell the true i went out with him really fast.... chưa bao gio me co ban trai nhanh đến vậy luôn ah..chỉ sau có mấy ngày wen biết thôi ah......i had some ex bfs before but i neva had sex with them... i thought it a sin to do that since i'm a captholic, and then my parents khó tính too........
but this guy...after i went out with him, he wanted to have sex and i told him that i dun want to...so he was kind of upset and said okay...but whenever we kissed he always pushed me in a hard situation and just tried to makin love........i love him tho, but i so confuse if he luv me because he loves me or because he just wanna has sex. sometime we sat together but seemd like we didnt really have anything interested in to talk. Last week after we hung out, we went back to his house as usual and.........i lost my virginity..i dunno...i felt ashame...and i did cry...wondered if he reallie loves me............after that..every single time we see each other, we always have sex.....that make me think alot about his love...i no some guys had gf just because they wanna have sex, htey r not really care about their gf, so i dunno wut kind of guy my bf is..........i trust him but about this fact..who no, u no...
i even talked to him about my opinions, told him everything i have been thinking....do u think i did right? i even told him that the only one thing i had tried to protect just gone and i feel NOTHING now.....yes i am...when i'm alone thinking about it..i cry
i dunno a lot about this thing that y i'm so scared if i'll pregnant. cuz he didnt use condom at the 1st time, the 2nd time he did use it but only the 1 few mins.....so i'm so scared.......... i keep thinking about this and i feel my stomach so weird.....i have noone to ask for an advice. i've been waiting for my period.........wishing that i'll have it, if not....the only one way i could think rite now is going to a diferrent world........... wut should i do now?? i'm so nervous

[DrHate]

Hi abc, I would like to answer by Vietnamese and I hope you understand Vietnamese so.

Vấn đề sin và Catholic thì Hate không muốn nói đến vì đó là niềm tin và cách đánh giá riêng của mỗi người. Hate chỉ muốn nói đến phần khoa học mà thôi.

Cái phần quý giá nhất, trinh tiết, được dành cho người chồng tương lai - đây là điều đáng được trân trọng. Nhưng dùng nó để đánh giá sức nặng tình yêu thì có cái gì đó không được vững cho lắm. Điều quan trọng là trong đầu của abc và người con trai đó nghĩ như thế nào về tình cảm hiện tại và tương lai của hai người.

Vấn đề mang thai hay không thì không cần phải ... i've been waiting for my period ... abc có thể mua cái "EPT pregnancy test" ở bất cứ pharmacy store nào và thử coi mình có mang thai hay không.

I wish all the best wil come to you.

DrHate,

[SauDong]

Hi abc,

This in just my 2c worth but I think you already had some doubts about his love . I observed the following from what you said:

1) He did not respect your opinions , he is always pressing for sex even though you told him that it is the one thing you would want to keep dearly

2) He did not care about your health by having unprotected sex. That is a big NO NO in any circumstances especially when you do not know anything about him. You only know him for a very short time, he could be a gigglo before he know you.

You should gather all the facts and decide what is the next course of action all I can advice you is listen to DR Hate, must use condom when having sex and do not put yourself in the situation that you can not refuse.

Good luck

SĐ

[cucnuocda]

abc, i've been w/ my gf for almost 5 years and we haven't have sex yet. she's a virgin and i'm not. there were so many times that i tried to pressure my gf into having sex with me, but she didn't give it up. i'm very proud of her. i have so much respect for her.

i've in situation like yours, except that i'm a guy. we went out for couple days then i pressured her into bed with me. that girl was a virgin too. yes, i got what i want, but love? heck no. the only thing i was interested in was sex. everytime we were together, we had sex. with all due respect, abc, i think that you didn't try your best to defend yourself. i don't think that your bf loves you. his hormone is going mad and his dick is going crazy (like myself before and hmmmm maybe now) and you're the antidose. just try not to have sex with him for couple weeks and you'll see how he is.. he probably will say "no sex, no relationship"

[abc]

cám ơn 3 anh đã cho abc lời khuyên, abc đọc đi đọc lại cả trăm lần rồi lại khóc, ko biết sao mình ngu ngốc wá đi mất, lúc truớc mổi lần nghe nguời khác noi về chuyện đó,abc cứ nghĩ làm sao họ có thễ làm như vậy,và just so proud that i was a virgin, but now,whenever i see news paper or movie or wutever nói về sex thì cảm thấy xấu hổ wá đi mất, giờ thì abc buông lỏng mình luôn rồi, nghĩ rằng bây giờ chẳng còn gì để mất nữa, chẳng biết nói với ai vì chỉ có 1 nhỏ bạn thân, she's American and virgin, lúc truớc mỗi lần 2 đúa nói về chuyện này thì rất là bất bình, ca 2 đều agreed la not having sex until marry but now..... i lost mine and i dunno wut to say...just quiet when i talk to her
in addition, whenver i read magazines, open it and it's always have some articles about youth and sex (which i never see it before) i'm just so STRESS and think about my bf more
actually he cũng tốt, not really la nguời chĩ lo nghĩ ve sex,cũng wan tâm cho abc, and when i asked him about his ex girlfriends , he cũng nói thật chớ hôn có chối, he told me that he had sex with only one of his exs, and then i know that all his friends are guy not gurl, abc cũng nghe nói la he hôn fải là nguời cà chớn( i can tell by the way he acts) but...u know...i dunno wut he thinks about me now.....nhiều lúc abc cũng nói thật ra cho him biết la abc lo sợ lắm, sợ mang thai while i'm this young you know...i dun wanna ruin my life.hm... i already did, didnt i? i ruin my family, my anceston, prob i'm the 1st person did this in my anceston that why i'm so stress, so tội lỗi...........
cũng có thễ he thinks just like wut cucnuocda said...dating just because abc thỏa mãn nhu cầu cho him...i'm so confuse...
oh yeah...adn then i dunno...seriously i think cuz i think about it to much that y i dun really feel any good when we have sex..is it true? or somethin's goin wrong with my body? while we making love i still ahve somethin so confuse in my mind...still wonder somethin....when should i try the EPT thing? i didnt buy it yet but...so embarassin when i'm thinking about goin to pharmacy store to buy it......so xấu hỗ mặc dù biết no one care............
prob i'll do like cucnuocda said...trying not to have sex for a couple week and see how his react.........i hope he's not goin to say no more relationship between us......i love him so bad but i dunno if he coi thuờng me now or not...........

[abc]

cám ơn 3 anh đã cho abc lời khuyên, abc đọc đi đọc lại cả trăm lần rồi lại khóc, ko biết sao mình ngu ngốc wá đi mất, lúc truớc mổi lần nghe nguời khác noi về chuyện đó,abc cứ nghĩ làm sao họ có thễ làm như vậy,và just so proud that i was a virgin, but now,whenever i see news paper or movie or wutever nói về sex thì cảm thấy xấu hổ wá đi mất, giờ thì abc buông lỏng mình luôn rồi, nghĩ rằng bây giờ chẳng còn gì để mất nữa, chẳng biết nói với ai vì chỉ có 1 nhỏ bạn thân, she's American and virgin, lúc truớc mỗi lần 2 đúa nói về chuyện này thì rất là bất bình, ca 2 đều agreed la not having sex until marry but now..... i lost mine and i dunno wut to say...just quiet when i talk to her
in addition, whenver i read magazines, open it and it's always have some articles about youth and sex (which i never see it before) i'm just so STRESS and think about my bf more
actually he cũng tốt, not really la nguời chĩ lo nghĩ ve sex,cũng wan tâm cho abc, and when i asked him about his ex girlfriends , he cũng nói thật chớ hôn có chối, he told me that he had sex with only one of his exs, and then i know that all his friends are guy not gurl, abc cũng nghe nói la he hôn fải là nguời cà chớn( i can tell by the way he acts) but...u know...i dunno wut he thinks about me now.....nhiều lúc abc cũng nói thật ra cho him biết la abc lo sợ lắm, sợ mang thai while i'm this young you know...i dun wanna ruin my life.hm... i already did, didnt i? i ruin my family, my anceston, prob i'm the 1st person did this in my anceston that why i'm so stress, so tội lỗi...........
cũng có thễ he thinks just like wut cucnuocda said...dating just because abc thỏa mãn nhu cầu cho him...i'm so confuse...
oh yeah...adn then i dunno...seriously i think cuz i think about it to much that y i dun really feel any good when we have sex..is it true? or somethin's goin wrong with my body? while we making love i still ahve somethin so confuse in my mind...still wonder somethin....when should i try the EPT thing? i didnt buy it yet but...so embarassin when i'm thinking about goin to pharmacy store to buy it......so xấu hỗ mặc dù biết no one care............
prob i'll do like cucnuocda said...trying not to have sex for a couple week and see how his react.........i hope he's not goin to say no more relationship between us......i love him so bad but i dunno if he coi thuờng me now or not...........

[cucnuocda]

giờ thì abc buông lỏng mình luôn rồi, nghĩ rằng bây giờ chẳng còn gì để mất nữa

this is so wrong... you still have your pride.. your dignity.. your morality..

ps: i have none of these

[Congtu]

Hi abc,

I don't have much to say, just remember that "loosing virginity doesn't mean loosing everything". It only means you're changing your life from an innocent girl to a woman. Be happy with what you did because it was your choice. Don't ever feel regret when you already decided to do it in your way.

Mến,
Công tử

[Tia_Lia]

TiaLia đồng ý với quan điểm cũng như sự nhận xét và advice của DrHate, SầuĐông, CụcNướcĐá và CT, nhất là dựa vào những gì abc đã kể thì BF của abc có vẻ đến với abc vì tình dục nhiều hơn là tình yêu. "Nhân bất thập toàn" mà abc! Ai mà không có lúc lầm lẫn trong sự quyết định và sự lựa chọn của mình chứ, nhưng nhờ đó mà mình được trưởng thành và già dặn hơn đó abc. Vấn đề quan trọng là biết sai thì phải sửa, và cố đừng để same mistake lập đi lập lại.

Sự việc đã xẩy dza không thể nào thay đổi được, có tiếc nuối hay ân hận cũng thế thôi, hãy để tất cả và cái anh chàng đó vào quá khứ, mạnh dạn hướng về tương lai để tạo cho mình một tương lai thật tốt đẹp với một người xứng đáng hơn đi abc.

Chúc abc được nhiều happiness và vạn sự như ý!

[cangcung]

Wow! First off, welcome abc to our little world. Second, you must have touched many hearts, 'cuz "great people" have responded to your cry.

Here are my 1 and a half cents

1. Sin? Just as the doctor had said. Don't wanna go there! But even the darkest sin can be forgiven, your bible said so. Right!?
2. Virginity? Just as Cong Tu had said. It doesn't mean the end of erverything. On the contrary, it's the begining of your womanhood and your maturity, both physically and mentally.
3. Confusion? Definitely temporary! It will be clear in a short time.
4. Let it all go!? Buông thả? Just as cucnuocda had said. It's wrong. You still have everything (minus a little virginty) to go for. Now is the time to get things together, just as TiaLia had said, and go on to a better day.

Finally, your "boyfriend". You know him more than anyone here would. So it's you who can decide whether he is right for you. There are many things you should do to make sure, such as:
1. Stop having sex with him for awhile. Take this time to understand him and allow him to understand you and your wishes.
2. Avoid having pressured him into thinking that you want to break up the relationship just 'cuz he wants to have sex all the time, but make sure he knows that there are many other things just as important in a relationship.
3. If he refuses to understand your positions, continues to pressure you into sex, and losses interest in you after the sex is no longer there. Then you know what to do, right!? Just dump the guy! He's not worth your time or love.

Wish you all the best! Come back to join us for more fun!