Things Not To Say During Sex

[tieunam]

Things Not To Say During Sex

1. Is it in?
2. That's it?
3. You've got to be kidding me.
4. (Phone rings) hello? Oh nothing and you?
5. Do I have to pay for this?
6. Do I have to call you tomorrow?
7. You look better in the dark.
8. This is much better than my last girl/boyfriend.
9. Don't tell my husband/wife.
10. You have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it).
11. This sucks.
12. Can you finish now? I have a meeting...
13. I hope you don't expect a raise for this...
14. I think you might get the job for this.
15. Did I tell you, I have herpes?
16. Hurry up, the games about to start.
17. Can I have a ride home after this?
18. Are those real?
19. By the way, I want to break up.
20. Haven't you ever done this before?
21. You're so much like your sister....
22. What's your name again?
23. Do I have to be here in the morning?
24. I think my dad is listening at the door.
25. Smile for the camera, honey!!!
26. I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
27. I knew you wore a padded bra!!
28. Cover me boys, I'm going in!!!
29. DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!
30. Fire one!
31. Hold on, let me change the channel...
32. Is it o.k. if my mom (and/or dad) joins in?
33. Your best-friend does it much better.
34. Stop moaning, you sound so stupid.
35. Shut up, bitch! (Worse if the girl says it)
36. You know, you're not really attractive.
37. I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
38. What, oh yea, I love you too, now let me concentrate!!
39. Stop interrupting me!!
40. Is it o.k. If I call someone, its o.k. Though, keep going....
41. Its ok honey, I can imagine that its bigger.
42. Why can't you ever shave your legs?
43. By the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog....
44. Oh Susan, Susan... I mean Donna.... dang.
45. You're boring.
46. How much do I owe you?
47. Of course you can't be on top, you're too fat, you'll kill me!
48. Just use your finger, its bigger.
49. Does your family have to watch?
50. We'll try again later when you can satisfy me too.
51. Get off me, I'll do it myself!!!!
52. The only reason I'm doing this is because I'm drunk.
53. My mom taught me this...
54. Dang girl! My boobs are bigger than yours!
55. Should I ask why you're bleeding?
56. No I don't love your mind, I can't grab that!!
57. Is it o.k. if I tell my friends about this?
58. You wanted me to use a condom?
59. Fire in the hole!!!
60. I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in there.
61. Hurry up, I'm late for a date.
62. I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?

[saigon1357]

oops, the gun misfired!

[pumpinirondude]

Don't say "I'm tired"